How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Randomize
