fuck your aforementioned shoe
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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