this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
