Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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