I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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