Its about making memories worth repressing
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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