If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
