I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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