Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
