I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
