Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
We left the knife in your bed.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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