Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
