My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
