I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
