you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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