Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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