I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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