How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
