dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Little spoons don't ask big questions
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
why do cheetos always look like penises
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
His nipple licking is glorious
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