is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
