"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
His hands were made for my vagina.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Can I color on your dick again?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
