I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
