ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
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