Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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