he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
