I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
