Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
