I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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