My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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