Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
