At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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