my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
