then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I just googled if crying burns calories
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
