I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
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