Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i dont even know how to be here
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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