if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
