You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
