I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
