I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
