The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
