New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
