ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
