I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Just pee around me
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
