Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
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