i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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