So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
is wine microwaveable?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
