the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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