he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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