I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
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