My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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