He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
