This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
