I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
