just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize
