did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
