I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
