we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize