Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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