Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
