And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
